four or five generations in a dream / everlong again

1.

she had a mountain for a lover
hundred thousand tons of rock, dirt,
the tangled roots of trees swept back like black hair
as he fucked her, as he watched her
in a white dress,
his peak troubled with its
roiling cloud.

desire for him held her straight, still
as a girl in a portrait.
when she looked at her picture
she saw his snake run about her wrists
through her legs to her thighs
its head filling her mouth as if it were her tongue
and her eyes sunk back
into black shadow.

so she married a man who drank but did not hit.
and she waited and waited
to feel safe ever again.


2.

he was his mother's favorite, the idol of her side,
the smooth fuzz on his head and his giant eyes,
the smooth limbs, everything about him
her perfection, a baby adonis

and he protected her.
and he protected her from dreams
from dragons like avenging angels
messengers from the abyss
she shared with no one else

she touched no one else like she touched him
her hands curved like the shells
she gathered for him at the sea,
as gentle in color
as subtle in scent

at some point he knew that it was
wrong--or it was at least
different--it marked him for something.
sometimes he felt marked for something better than others,
he was so loved,
such a master of men,
and sometimes

he felt marked like a monster


3.

he'd thought
when she was born--

the conviction had come over him
that she would share the secret

it's lonely
to have the secret

like a drop of water falling over and over
onto a rock in a dark place.

because he loved her--
he would love her
he would show her the meaning

of being loved

but she turned away from him
with distrustful eyes

as if to nullify the whole
of the love he'd recieved

he showed her love
he showered her with love
he had waited for her too
she had not been just anyone
he would not bear the secret alone anymore
he put her straight
and the snake wove its way between her thighs
around her wrists
into her every crevice
breaking her open like a root
would break open stone
until she admitted it
she admitted that she loved him


but it was all wrong.


he thought he'd seen in her
a re-creation of
the fine bone
the smile and the gentle cool hand
the intelligence that stretched like madness

but those things were dead

they had been dead for many years.

then there was a breaking like stone inside him
and the water spilled upon the broken rock.



and the girl
he'd chosen
had visions
of a mountain
come inside her.